I didn't marry you because you were perfect. I didn't even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn't a house that protected them; and it wasn't our love that protected them - it was that promise.
~Thornton Wilder
Promise:
1 a : a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified b : a legally binding declaration that gives the person to whom it is made a right to expect or to claim the performance or forbearance of a specified act
2 : reason to expect something ; especially : ground for expectation of success, improvement, or excellence
3 : something that is promised
When I think of a promise as it relates to marriage, I think of the vows that we take on our wedding day....
I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
Or maybe like this....
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
Even if you wrote your own vows....they were on the lines of this and you made a promise that for the rest of your life, you would honor and cherish these vows.
As we all know, statistics say that 50% of marriages will end in divorce within the first year of marriage. 50%!!!! I don't know about you, but for me being a newlywed, this was of a shock to me. But then I thought to myself, where did they go wrong, or did they go wrong? Who was to blame or are they both to blame? Do they have children? What about the children? How is this going to affect them in the long run?
I cant say what goes on in another marriage but I can speak of behalf of a marriage. Just within the first 8 months of being married, there have been times where me and my husband could not keep our hands off each other, always wanted to be around each other. Then, there were those times we could not stand one another, whether it was over something petty or there was a misunderstanding when we communicated with one another. Even sometimes, we weren't on the same page with something. But we talked it out, we worked it out, because we know that without each other its impossible to do the work of God and not only that but we made a promise, we made a vow. Even before we stood before family and friends, there were things we talked about and promised each other that we would do for one another.
It troubles me that we as a people, cant seem to stick to our promises/vows. I often think, maybe they got married for the wrong reason, maybe they had a baby before marriage and thought that getting married was the right thing to do? Who knows what the reasoning behind a divorce, but I do know this, somewhere along the line, they gave up.
Sometimes I get the notion that some believe that getting married actually makes things easier, for somethings they will, but what is easy at one point will be hard at another. That goes for everything. Every Summer has its Winter and every Spring has its Fall. The question is are you willing to endure? Nothing, I mean absolutely nothing is giving to us on a silver platter we have to work to make things successful. That is why us as WOMEN have to take a stand to make sure that when we are in our "winter" and "fall" seasons that we will do everything in us to make it to get to our " Spring" and "Summer" seasons. We made a promise before man, but most importantly, we made a promise before God letting Him know that this blessing that he has trusted us with, we will take care of. Vicki Winans says in her song rainbow. "He'll take your Winter, turn it to Spring, Summer will fall, Fall into place" The storm will always pass over!
I also notice that when people speak of divorces or of their divorce, they never say what "they" were responsible for in entertaining the downfall. We all make mistakes and we all tend to do things that we may not meant to have done, but guess what, we did it. At time, its something we can get over in 5 minutes, at other times, it may take a little longer. But one mistake does not make the answer for divorce. (not in my opinion anyway)
Children, where do they come into play? I am not 21 weeks pregnant and I am a product of broken family. I do not regret they individual that I am continue to blossom into, but I will say that it would have helped a lot to have Ma and Pa in the house. I have seen where a spilt between parents have affected a child to the point where their studies were affected and life decisions that could have been positive turned negative. All because of the root of a broken home. I can say for myself, I allowed myself to be taken advantaged of, talked down to by boyfriends and even family members or non family members. The reason, I didn't know what it was like to be loved by a man unconditionally so I looked for it, what I saw as an imperfection, was always imperfect. Then if my boyfriend or a family member agreed and said the same thing, it send me to the pits and I found myself not to pretty or would never be successful. But it wasn't until I found my first love Christ, that I knew my imperfections is what makes me perfect for the one I am to be with for the rest of my life! I to find it within myself to love myself and let God filled that void that was missing in my life.
We as humans tend to act on impulse and not realize who and what our broken promises/vows can effect. If you have children, we not only have the promise that we made to our spouses, but to our children now. Love is needed in the home of both Mom and Dad.
So for us 21st Century women, we are beautiful, we are independent, we are queens! Guess what, we are our husbands wives, We are his beauty and we are his dependant (just as he ours), and most of all WE ARE HIS QUEENS! Lets us remember the PROMISES and VOWS that we made and keep them to turn this statistic around. Show the world that it can work! Lets be the Women God called us to be and lets KEEP OUR PROMISES!!!!!!!
"We're gonna make it, not matter what the test whatever come ours way, We're gonna make it. With Jesus on our side, things will work out fine! WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT!!!!!!"
