New Mind, New Marriage #TeamMarriage

December 31st doesn’t give you a new year; January 1st doesn’t give you a new year. It’s not the changing of a calendar that gets you a new year. It’s the changing of a mindset; it’s the changing of an attitude; it’s the changing of your spirit; It’s the changing of your heart. You could have a new year in the middle of the year. Whenever you you’ve got a new mind, you’ve got a new year--T.D. Jakes

As we begin to approach the year 2012, we all reflect on the year that is about to be in our past, 2011. We have all been through some trial and tribulation and we also have had our beautiful happy moments of this year.


Many of us also do what we call New Year's resolutions. Some of us will start our weight loss programs and some of us will state that we will put away some long habits that we no longer want apart of us. One thing I have noticed just within myself, I NEVER stick to my resolutions lol. Something will always come up especially with the weight loss goal lol.


I wonder how many of us realize its more than just the words that we proclaim but its our mindset which will lead to our actions. I often think about the marriages of this past year and ones now and I wonder how many stated that they wanted certain things to take place in their marriage but just stated the words and did not change the way they thought or their actions.


It takes more than communicating the change you would like to see, it first has to start with you and your mindset. You cant demand or command something and you don't work with yourself first. You want new life in your marriage, start with you! You want that spark back that you once had before, you start that spark!


Let us as 21st century wives and husbands so the world that it can work! #TeamMarriage is in effect for 2012 and beyond! It will work because we will have a new mind, a new spirit, a new attitude to make it work!!!

#TeamMarriage LETS GO!!!!

Attitude of Gratitude

With the holidays here and the New year vastly approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot about the little things that I am grateful for. Obviously, my husband immediately came to mind and I was overwhelmed with a feeling of sincere gratitude and appreciation towards him. But then I got to thinking, how often do I really tell him how grateful I am?

I think too many times we get caught up in thinking, “Oh well, he knows how I feel about him. He knows I appreciate him.” But does he really?

When is the last time you really thanked your partner for spending time with you? Or listening to you talk about your day? Or helping you around the house? Or going to work to help pay the bills?

I said to myself I am going to start making it a goal to openly thank my husband for all the things he would does around the house. When he wash the dishes, when he bathes our son, I want to thank him.

As I go about thanking him each day, I realized more and more all of the little things he does for me and our family. Of course, he does many big things too like going to work each day to provide for us. But he is also constantly doing other small acts of service around the house that I may not notice if I don’t make it a goal to thank him more

At first thought, it seems kind of silly and redundant to say thank you over and over again. I mean, he gets it, right? I’m thankful for him? Do I really need to say it a million times?But I noticed a big difference in our relationship; my husband and I are way more willing to help one another when we feel appreciated by the other. We wanted to be there for the other person. And in the end, those feelings of appreciation turns more into deeper feelings of love, love that is frequently expressed through our gratitude.

I feel like I am learning a very important lesson in sincerely thanking our spouses, partners, and family members that I hope to remember when times do get challenging. And I hope you also remember that “Thank You” often translates into “I Love You.” Which is truly a great feeling, gift, and blessing you can share with one another.

Supermodel Jessica White describes her future husband to Essence

Supermodel Jessica White has recently garnered some attention in the press for her decision to remain celibate until marriage, I commend her for that. Here, she describes her future husband.

ESSENCE: Describe your future husband.
JESSICA: Um… a hardworking man, obviously. Someone who can stand next to me, being a strong woman, and not disappear. Someone who won’t be emasculated by the fact that I work. Someone that understands that I love my job and I love what I do. Someone that pushes me into greatness. Someone that brings out the best in me. Someone that makes me laugh. Someone I feel safe with. I don’t feel safe around a lot of people. Be honest. Even if you screw up, or you mess up, tell me the truth. You know men mess up. Women create this big illusion in their head that the man they’re going to be with is going to be perfect. Nobody’s going to be perfect and people are going to let you down. The only thing that you can hope for is someone that’s going to be honest with you.
Ladies, tell us about your current or future husband...

Beyonce Relives Wedding Memories

Everyone should know by now that I'm a big fan of Essence Magazine. Well here's a quick Access Hollywood clip on Beyonce, reliving her wedding day and her new single, Best Thing I Never Had from the album 4.

My Fab Spain (and Morocco and Portugal) Vacation!

It took sometime to load all the photos, but I promised you all that I would share with you my 10-day whirlwind vacation so here it is...

Day 1: We flew into Madrid and spent one night there. That night we met this soccer team of really cool guys that just want to have a good time. They kept calling my husband Ju-uan Wall (aka John Wall of the Washington Wizards) and MVP since we said we were from DC.

Day 2: We picked up a car (yep, we actually drove in Spain!) and headed to Lisbon, Portugal. We spent 2 nights there. Our car was super small and I called her ladybug. My husband did most of the driving and did all of the mapping and navigating...and I did a great job at it too!

Jesus welcomed us to Lisbon.

Day 4: We headed to Seville where we stayed for only one night. I LOVED Seville. I plan to go back there one day. We toured the Seville Cathedral which is the world's largest gothic cathedral and the third largest church in the world.. The craftsmanship and art work were amazing!

Day 5: We drove to Tarifa spain for the night and woke up early on Day 6 to catch a ferry ride to Morocco! We had a great tour guide that gave us a taste of Morocco in a few short hours. We even got to ride camels!

Day 6: We headed to the Costa Del Sol aka Malaga, Spain aka the equivalent of South Beach Miami and enjoyed a little partying and a little R&R. We went out to a club, had some of the best/most amazing food a hostel could ever provide and spent some time on the beach.

Day 7: We decided to return the car (gas and tolls were too much) and bought cheap plane tickets to head to Barcelona where we stayed for 2 nights. Barcelona was cool...it's so metropolitan and such a world city. Everyone there spoke at least 3 languages. I didn't use any of my spanish while I was there. That was a shame because most of the trip I was getting so fluent and confident in speaking again.

However, we did enjoy cheap wine!

Day 9: We flew to Madrid where we spent one last night before heading back home to the US. All in all a great trip! It has to be rated number one and the best part is I spent it with my honey.

Are you Willing to Carry Your Spouse's Destiny?

Adapt yourself to the things among which your lot has been cast and love sincerely the fellow creatures with whom destiny has ordained that you shall live.

Marcus Aurelius

I have been having this discussion with good friends of mines and I thought why not share with the women of immarriednow.com

If I could pick a subtitle for this blog it would be Interceding for you husbands. We as Women (Saved or Un-saved) have a duty to uplift our husbands daily because of the daily activities a Man has to go through. (And trust this goes both ways). In Genesis 2:18 it states that the woman is suppose to be a HELP MEET for the man. And that just does not consist of cooking and cleaning. It means that at times, certain things that we may wants at the time we must put on hold because the head of our family needs us spiritually more right now than a want. But even as we carry or even push our husbands into their destiny/calling we are also being molded for what is to come for us.

You need to pray for your husband's destiny to be birthed if it has not been; pray that his God given vision should be established; pray for him to be focused; pray for him not to fall into error; pray for his deliverance if in any form of bondage; pray for favor upon his job or business; pray for him to have good health; pray for protection etc. Rather than compete with your husband or judge and criticize him, it is always beneficial if you go on your knees to intercede for him.

We as wives see certain things that our husband cant see or at the time may not see because of daily tasks that comes with him. It is our job to pray for that vision. When we took our vows we told God that He could trust us with his blessing, our husbands. Because he is head we must protect the head of our house by praying for him because he feels most of the pressure because he is the provider. Face it, He is Big Daddy lol.

Lets say that in your home right now you are the bread winner, you pray for your husbands "ego". Pray that God gives him the peace and the understanding and you still let him know that he is needed and is the head of the house.

Here are some scriptures and declarations:

As it is written in Isaiah 60:1 – I prophesy into your life – ARISE AND SHINE FOR YOUR LIGHT IS COME

– IN YOUR CAREER ARISE
– IN YOUR BUSINESS ARISE
– IN YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE
– IN YOUR MINISTRY ARISE IN YOUR FINANCES ARISE, IN JESUS NAME
As it is written in Isaiah 45 – I prophesy into your life –
 The Lord will hold your right hand;
 Subdue nations before you
 Loose the armors of kings for you
 Open before you the double doors of favour wherever you go
 Give unto you the treasures of darkness
 Give you the hidden riches of secret places.
As it is written in Isaiah 8:10 - Every counsel of the enemy over your life will come to nothing in Jesus name.
Every conspiracy against you on your job, business in your family will not prosper in Jesus name.
Father separate my husband from evil friends and evil influences in Jesus name. IT IS WELL WITH YOU ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE IN JESUS NAME

So as women, strong women, independent women of the 21st century, lets built our men up. Pray for them. And trust when we do our parts, we will get all our wants and need. From God and our husbands!!

Forgiving Your Past to Live in your Marriage

My dear friends, I'm not writing anything new here. This is the oldest commandment in the book, and you've known it from day one. It's always been implicit in the Message you've heard. On the other hand, perhaps it is new, freshly minted as it is in both Christ and you—the darkness on its way out and the True Light already blazing!

~1 John 2:7-8(MSG)

Hey lovelies! Its been a while since I last wrote and I apologize for that. Charge it to my head and not my heart. Trust I never forget about you all :-)

Let me just say that these next blogs to follow will be that of a personal testimony and very transparent. Not saying that I wasn't speaking from experience before but you get my drift.

In January of 2002 I was raped behind my apartment building. I was coming home from after school rehearsal. One thing that haunted me was that one thing he said to me when he finished was, "You are a nobody who is being raped by somebody who will rape your mind for the rest of your life." I kept it from my mom and my grandmother until April of that same year, but I never sought help because as I am very famous for doing, I planned on burying it along with other things that have buried. But of coarse, later on in life that back fired.

After I had my son, (who will 1 on the 23 by the way, time sure does fly) I went through postpartum depression so I started counseling....coming to find out that not was I only being affected by postpartum but also post traumatic stress disorder.

Because I never dealt with being raped or seeking the professional help that was needed, certain actions began to make up my personality. Being overly nervous, not believing in myself and seeking the approval of others, because after all, "I was a nobody whose mind was being raped by somebody".

So a lot of my actions towards my husband were that of what was done to me. A lot of time us as "spiritual" beings tend to sweep stuff under the rug and think that God will take care of it, but at the same time, he has given us people here on this earth to help with the dealings. Emotionally, even though I would give my life for my husband, there was still a part of me that I could not give because of my "mind being raped"

In order for my mind to no longer be raped by this man who took something from me, marked me, I had to forgive him. In order for me to move on in my life and give my husband everything that he deserves from me, I had to forgive the man who had done this to me. Once I let go of what was then and realized that is okay now,....I saw my future life.

I say all of this to say, To LIVE in your Marriage, you have to FORGIVE your past. We have all been hurt in some way but in order to be YOU and give YOU you must FORGIVE. We have actions and tendencies that honestly are not who we are, they are of that person who has done something to us and we take it out on the wrong people. It always ends up being the person that is closest to us.

You Must Forgive to Live!

So I challenge you today to look at yourself and see the things that are honestly not you and search to see where they came from. And if you cant, seek the help that you need. There is nothing wrong with seeing someone for help. That is what they are here for.