Shall We Dance?!?!?!

"Or, put it another way, and 'borrowed' from Pittman:

Why is that people get married? Because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion on the planet. What does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything....The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, All of it...all the time...everyday. You're saying, your life will not go unnoticed because I notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed-because I will be your witness."

-Wife in the movie, Shall We Dance, 2004

I chose this quote for this blog, because it explains a lot of the separation that you will have to take as an individual who is starting your own family. It doesn't matter who sees what in the end, YOUR husband, YOUR FAMILY is what and who you live and walk for now.

I have always been a loner. Some people will read this and say, "no she wasn't!" But when you think about it, I was. Yes, I was in the choir, I sung in various groups, I was sociable when I needed to be (I'm shy), but honestly I will stay in the house rather than hang out. Not because I dislike people but because I can do with TV and soda :-) So my dance, was the solo liturgical dance.

There were 2 things I longed for. One I was blessed with in April 2009 and the other I realized I never actually needed until about a few weeks ago. Number one, was to be loved the way I love, sacrificial. (which we all know I have my husband!) Number two, to have the approval of my family. (I just realized that this is not needed)

I longed for that company dance group. The one when you go to rehearsal, practice, you are critiqued, and then you go home. But at the end you are a family. You can critique each other and not be harmed by it, you laugh cry and most of all, you dance together.

I am not bashing my family at all. I love them much, but they can all admit, Dani was the black sheep of the family. Not because I did wrong, but because I was different from the rest. I was and still am committed to church, music runs through my veins, and what my family may have found as having a good time was not always what I thought of having a good time was...lol. I loved the family gatherings, but hey what can I say, I'm just Dani and I can finally say that I am happy with that.

I always knew that once I was able to start my own dance company (family), that I would make sure that I do my best in not making my children or my husband feel any less of a person because they dance to a different beat. In December of this past year, something happened that tore my heart to pieces, and it was then I realized that when God moves you to start your own dance company, you cant bring your dance crew with you.

It was Christmas week. Me and the hubby were in DC visiting family and friends. We had a great time, but one night, Christmas night, was the night that something fell, but something better arose.

A certain member of my family has always had a strong hold on me. Whether this person realized it or not. This person could make me cry at a drop of a hat and make me think twice about whatever I was doing. Even if I knew God told me go forth, this person always questioned it and made a mockery out of it. I can honestly say that this person in my family never agreed with my marriage but this was honestly the first time I can say I did something and even talked to this person without a tear in saying what I was doing and I was not turning back on it. After the wedding I figured everything was okay because we actually talked more that I was away than when I was back in DC. Christmas Night, proved that some things just never change. This was the night that my husband was meeting more of my family (well the ones who didn't make the wedding). To make this long night short, everything in a nutshell, my husband was disrespected by this member of my family. Questions were asked that should not have been, things were said that should not have been said and body language said a lot. (I felt horrible!!!) And what made it worst, I said absolutely and did nothing because I am so used to the way this person acts and treats others and even myself. I numbed myself to this individual. And even still, I didn't protect my star dancer from the tabloids.

On the way back to Alabama, it was so hard for me. I think I cried every night before getting back to Alabama. I was so hurt. Not only because what happened, but I put my husband in that enviorment, and said absolutely nothing. I was hurt because he was hurt. (Its funny how one bad apple can spoil the bunch) I felt less of a person, less of a woman, and most of all a failure as a wife. It is my duty to protect the blessing God has giving me and I couldn't part my lips. It was then me and my husband talked. First, I needed to calm down because I have a child being formed inside me. So once I was calmed we talked and it was then revealed to me that my husband is my family now. This is a new franchise that we are building upon and not everyone from the prior team, dance company, group, crew we were with before can come because it can not only tear apart whats inside, and scars that have been healed from past falls and breaks will open back up because some people just don't see what you see. (we all know what happens when you reopen a wound, it takes longer to heal)

So, what fell, a relationship with a family member that was honestly unhealthy to begin with, and what was gained, a strong marriage, a strong franchise, a stronger dance company that is ready and has been ready to take on more falls, bumps and bruises that may come along the way.

Its hard especially when people are close with their mom and dads, uncle and aunts, and even friends and foes (yes I said foes...lol), but when you vow to be with this person forever, that is who you are with. Yes you marry into a family, but you are building a family from the ground up that honestly everyone, even family, just not may be able to go. The bright side of it, you have a family to instill, to love, to cherish, and most of all to nourish with all that God has placed on you and your spouse's heart.

So, Shall We Dance?..... WE SHALL CONTINUE TO DANCE!