Forgiving Your Past to Live in your Marriage

My dear friends, I'm not writing anything new here. This is the oldest commandment in the book, and you've known it from day one. It's always been implicit in the Message you've heard. On the other hand, perhaps it is new, freshly minted as it is in both Christ and you—the darkness on its way out and the True Light already blazing!

~1 John 2:7-8(MSG)

Hey lovelies! Its been a while since I last wrote and I apologize for that. Charge it to my head and not my heart. Trust I never forget about you all :-)

Let me just say that these next blogs to follow will be that of a personal testimony and very transparent. Not saying that I wasn't speaking from experience before but you get my drift.

In January of 2002 I was raped behind my apartment building. I was coming home from after school rehearsal. One thing that haunted me was that one thing he said to me when he finished was, "You are a nobody who is being raped by somebody who will rape your mind for the rest of your life." I kept it from my mom and my grandmother until April of that same year, but I never sought help because as I am very famous for doing, I planned on burying it along with other things that have buried. But of coarse, later on in life that back fired.

After I had my son, (who will 1 on the 23 by the way, time sure does fly) I went through postpartum depression so I started counseling....coming to find out that not was I only being affected by postpartum but also post traumatic stress disorder.

Because I never dealt with being raped or seeking the professional help that was needed, certain actions began to make up my personality. Being overly nervous, not believing in myself and seeking the approval of others, because after all, "I was a nobody whose mind was being raped by somebody".

So a lot of my actions towards my husband were that of what was done to me. A lot of time us as "spiritual" beings tend to sweep stuff under the rug and think that God will take care of it, but at the same time, he has given us people here on this earth to help with the dealings. Emotionally, even though I would give my life for my husband, there was still a part of me that I could not give because of my "mind being raped"

In order for my mind to no longer be raped by this man who took something from me, marked me, I had to forgive him. In order for me to move on in my life and give my husband everything that he deserves from me, I had to forgive the man who had done this to me. Once I let go of what was then and realized that is okay now,....I saw my future life.

I say all of this to say, To LIVE in your Marriage, you have to FORGIVE your past. We have all been hurt in some way but in order to be YOU and give YOU you must FORGIVE. We have actions and tendencies that honestly are not who we are, they are of that person who has done something to us and we take it out on the wrong people. It always ends up being the person that is closest to us.

You Must Forgive to Live!

So I challenge you today to look at yourself and see the things that are honestly not you and search to see where they came from. And if you cant, seek the help that you need. There is nothing wrong with seeing someone for help. That is what they are here for.