Sometimes my mind wanders and I think, "If I were single right now I would be..." Though the majority of the time I am a happily married woman, there is still that minority of the time that I am not. Furthermore, there's still that part of me that would love to have my downtown condo decorated urban chic and painted pink. Or that would love to spend a year or two living in Europe...just living fabulous! I have finally learned not to feel guilty in having these feelings (this blog has been quite therapeutic for me) and afterall...they are MY feelings. What's sometimes sad about feeling this way is the thought that maybe this feeling will NEVER go away. Will I wake up one morning with regret?! That's my biggest fear.
*** Now let me take a moment to acknowledge that my husband is loving, supportive and is a good man. He's a great catch and I appreciate him and know that he was God-sent just for me! ...I'm just being transparent for a moment. ***
Moving on... I can always picture exactly what I would be doing right now IF I were single. WOW, You know what's funny? Even as I typed that statement I got a reminder in my spirit that as a christian my EVERY step is ordered by God and though I claim that I know what I would be doing right now he has already ordered what I am to do. Perhaps if I were disobedient to the will of God for my life I would be in a place that I never saw my life path going in. When I really think about it, I did pray to God for this man and God did see fit to grant me with the desire of my heart. I thank God for that revelation.
To my single ladies out there: enjoy, appreciate, and grow into the woman that God has called for you to be...especially in this time that you have to focus on just you. Pursue your dreams and make the desires of your heart a reality!
To my married sisters that may feel the way I do: let's remember that we are not alone and that our every step is ordered by God, so let's make it our goal to walk in the purpose he has called us to daily, for our husbands, our children, and ourselves!
Lastly, I leave you all with one of my favorite scriptures; Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) - "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I can completely relate to this. I am not married but I have been in a relationship for a year with a great guy. Sometimes I can't help but think about what it would be like if I were single. Not that I want to be with anyone else or would dream of cheating, but I wonder what it would be like sometimes. You aren't alone in your thought and I thank you for sharing that with us! It's something a lot of people aren't willing to talk about.
ReplyDeleteHi Angel :) Im newly married 3 months now... although I love my husband and love being married, I too share the feelings of not wanting to be single, but thinking it may have been easier to stay that way...I think partly because I never thought that I would ever actually get married..I mean I have dreamt about it, but just left it at that...Then I met my husband and 6 months later we were maried...
ReplyDeleteI struggle often with dealing with the emotions and identity of my new life...I'm no longer single Tiffany, I am now Married Tiffany...and I feel guilty...I broke down and cried when my id and ssn came back with my new name and identity..
My husband and I have a very open communication, that is the promise that we made to each other, and I have told him exactly what i'm telling you...
but my question is....i'm married...now what? how do I deal with these emotions? and where do I place them?....it's to the point where i'm not loving myself anymore because feel like I don't know who I am anymore and don't know what to do to start back...