Overcoming the Impossible

My husband and I are living the life that no one thought would work.

That's a bold statement to make, but it's the truth. No, this doesn't mean that I'm married to a dirtbag. He's actually a wonderful man. What it does mean is that everyone around us let our circumstances dictate what kind of marriage we'd have. We already had a child. He had just gotten divorced. It was messy. But he was my first and only love. I've loved him since I was sixteen.

God told me he was the one. I stood on that, regardless of what people said or thought. And now, well, I can't give myself any credit for how well our lives turned out. We thank God for that.

The truth is, when you think about it, we weren't supposed to meet. Weren't supposed to fall in love. Weren't supposed to get married, have children, own a home, a partridge and a pear tree.

Okay, we don't really have the partridge. Or the pear tree (although, I wouldn't mind having one). But essentially we've beat all the odds. Especially to be so young and to have accomplished all that we have so far. When I look back, its hard for me to really put my finger on how we've done it. But the truth is, deep down inside I know.

We knew that God had put us together. Even from the start. From the moment he saw me walking the halls with my mother in high school (she was there for a function I was hosting), he told her I was going to be his wife. Of course, I got an earful from my mother about how he was sneaky and I was to stay away from him. But, that intrigued me even more. I mean, I had only known him for 2 days when he made that statement.

You know what though? Looking back, I'm glad he was right.

There's no one else I could see myself spending this life with. I've known him since he was sixteen and that was nearly ten years ago. We've been married three years now and have the life I could have only dreamed of. It's not easy, I won't lie about that. Especially when you throw in a few variables that complicate things. Like the military. Oh the military.

That one variable has created an aesthetic to our relationship that makes this very different from your average marriage. I think we're stronger for it though. In all honesty, most people don't understand how we maintain. But we do. In our own special way. Even in different countries, zip codes and time zones. When were far apart we're still together.

I hate that he's away from us so much but at the same time, I love him even more for it. Don't get me wrong. I often wonder what in the world I was thinking to marry a man in the military knowing he'd be away from us so much, fighting wars, saving lives and all that. Most people I know commend me for it. But honestly, it's the only way I know how to live. We understand what this kind of life takes. The amount of effort that has to be put into it to work.

Can I be real with you for a moment? I can? Okay great. See, this this thing here called marriage, is work. Don't let anyone else tell you differently. But the good kind. The kind that when you reap the benefits, you'll be glad you put your all into it. Marriage is one of those things that when you have two people who are committed to the covenant they made to God and to each other, there's nothing that can come against them to break them apart. And trust me, stuff will try and come against you to break you apart (that's called the devil).

Fortunately, this is the type of relationship we have. The committed to making it work kind. We've been through the water and the storm and we're still here -- loving and living. He loves me even though I don't clean toilets (I leave that for him to do). Or like to take out the trash. And even when I clutter the bathroom sink with my hair products or forget to wash his uniforms. It's love. It's ours. And it works for us.

That is so key. Doing what works for you, your marriage and/or relationship. Never try and model your relationship...your life, after something you see someone else doing. You don't know their struggles. What it took to get there. Besides, the road that's meant for you to take might be a lot easier for you to bear. Or harder. But, what is for you, is for you. The love you have is yours, no one else's. When you keep that in mind, you'll understand just how precious, special and unique it is.

But, I digress.

Folks oftentimes ask me how we do what we do so well. I never know how to respond to that. But I will say this. We communicate. We love each other. We understand each other. We give each other the space we need to grow (and trust me, there is LOTS of growing that happens when you're in a long distance marriage). We ground our love in our faith, in both each other and our God. When you have all your basis covered, its quite easy to overcome the impossible.

We did. And still do.

Were there obstacles you had to overcome in your relationship? How did you do it? Have you ever had to overcome the seemingly impossible?

Note: I chose a picture of our President and First Lady because they are a great example of a relationship overcoming the impossible. Read about it here and here.