The Transition

As a not-yet-married girl in a very VERY committed relationship (I had to emphasize so it’s clear that I am very much about my relationship) I often have questions regarding the transition between single girl to married girl. Let’s face it there’s no manual but it’s not exactly black and white; especially when you’re a young girl in her 20s. The majority of twenty-something, recent college graduate women of today are independent, driven and put their foot down when it comes to achieving their dreams and wants. I think of my close girls from college and all of them are successful and pretty independent. We come and go as we please, travel when we want, have our weekends to hang out late… so how is this all supposed to change once you’re in a committed relationship, and even more so once you’re married? I mean once you’re married what are the rules in terms of staying out late, friends of the opposite sex, taking trips alone, etc.? Don’t get me wrong, I want to do everything with my man and I don’t want to disrespect him in any way. It’s just hard knowing what qualifies as ok and not ok once committed and on the road to marriage. Is it ok if I take a trip out of the country without him because he didn’t want to go? Maybe now it is because we’re not married, so as boyfriend and girlfriend it doesn’t look as bad as say if we were husband and wife. But if we were married would it be frowned upon if I really wanted to go somewhere and he didn’t? If so, why? What if, to top it off, not only does he not want to go but he doesn’t want me to go without him? I’m used to thinking about one and now I’m considering my actions for two. I like that fact but what sacrifices come with it? Today I don’t have a ring on my finger. I can come and go as I please. If I want to hop on a plane tomorrow and see the pyramids of Egypt I will. Well actually I won’t because I don’t have that kind of money… but I would if I could! My point is that seems like a single girl move. How does this change when you’re a married girl and does it have to? I like to think not. I think that the modern women of today all have a little of their single girls selves in them even after the “I dos” and we’d be resentful of our significant other if we weren’t able to give in to her wants every once in a while.